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Encore Theatre Magazine
::Front Page::

:: Friday, August 04, 2006 ::

Don't Cry for Him

Most people develop opinions because the world presents them with options. Lord Lloyd Webber seems to have opinions only when he's got a new show on. His latest off-the-peg rant is about the state of the West End. Yes, you heard me right, the state of the West End. The man whose horrible shows squatted a sizeable portion of it for the last twenty years and still owns seven theatres (including Drury Lane, The Palace, and the Palladium) think it's all up the spout.

First, he says in an interview in the Radio Times to publicise his naff and slightly fraudulent reality TV show, that only Billy Elliot, The Lion King and Phantom of the Opera are making money. First, as is well known, The Lion King probably isn't making money: its presence as a stage show is a loss leader designed to encourage us to buy other DisneyTM products . Second, surely there are other shows that are making money. What's the point of Mamma Mia! if it's not making money? What about Les Mis? And, ahem, Andrew, haven't you just opened Evita?

The problem, says Lord Webber, is the lack of innovative new shows. What like Evita? Or The Sound of Music? He wants shows with a feelgood factor. Presumably he hankers after the old days of the musical when it was referred to as musical comedy with the emphasis on comedy. There are too many shows that pass almost the entire evening without a good joke, relying on ponderous adaptations of old novels, the score filled with unhummable pastiches of Puccini to show that you're a 'serious' composer. Woman in White anyone?

But then he gets to the nub of the matter. The West End is not commercially viable. Why? Because many of them are listed buildings. TheTheatre Royal, Drury Lane, which he owns, needs airconditioning as part of an extensive renovation. Because it is a Grade I listed building, it will cost £20 million. 'If it wasn’t listed we could do that for £1million. No commercial person can find that sort of money and the theatre could never generate it, so what’s the future?'

Listing a building is intended to preserve that building for all of us. So all of us are entitled to wonder why you bought the Theatre Royal if you were unprepared to maintain it. Last year, when he was in the process of selling four of his theatres, he insisted that

I have always been keenly aware of the responsibility that comes with ownership of such valuable national assets, and throughout this process, have taken great pains to persuade my partner, Bridgepoint Capital, that we must sell only to someone who understands the particular nature of theatre and who will protect and preserve these very special buildings.
What's the point of the private sector running theatres - and boring us endlessly with the rigours of the box office - if it's going to bleat on and on about how expensive the whole business is. You basically want the buildings delisted and probably some kind of grant from Westminster council or the Historical Buildings and Monument Commission. In other words, the private sector, as always, wants the laws changed and a handout - so you can make more money. Because in fact how far have you 'protected and preserved these very special buildings'? The Palace got a nice refit, but Drury Lane and The Palladium are a shambles. What you did to the Adelphi was hardly about protection or preservation. The Duchess, The Apollo, the Lyric and Garrick hardly flourished under your care did they?

Any in any case, why should we bail you out? May we remind you, Lord Webber, that you're a very very rich man. According to the Sunday Times Rich List 2006, you are the 87= richest person in Britain. You are apparently worth £700 million. If you love these theatres so much, put your hand in your bloody pocket.


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